Things may be looking up for me on the school front. My grades have been improving, I have mostly A's and B's now, with the exception of the D in bio, which I hope to change soon. It's funny what a little bit of actual effort can do to your grades. Sure, my social life isn't as glamorous as it was a few months ago, but my parents are pleased, and I have a shot at a better future.
I'm feeling a bit...pressured...at the moment. Seems like I've been trying to balance too many things at once, and I now realize I have bitten off more than I can chew. What with school, chores, homework, martial arts, the band, money...I simply don't have time to take a breather anymore, and I think it may be negatively affecting me. The band is my biggest concern at the moment. I find myself running out of time when it comes to practicing and preparing, and it seems that the less practice time I have, the more abundant and challenging my material becomes. This all becomes too overwhelming, especially at my current skill level. I realize I have expectations to hold, but I cannot meet them, no matter how hard I try. There is a limit, and I have reached it. And to be honest, the band is not the most important thing in my life, and in my humble opinion, it shouldn't be. Since elementary school, this is the first time I have ever done this well in an academic setting, and at this point I cannot afford to lose it. Sorry if you guys feel offended, short-changed, or that I am not trying hard enough. I am not blessed with abundant free time at the moment.
(If you say Arcturus one more time I will shoot you)
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Waldo. And not just any Waldo, oh dear god no. I found the Waldo at the end of "The Great Waldo Search." The one with a thousand different Waldos in it. You're supposed to find the Waldo missing a shoe. The very same page that sent me into a frenzy as a child, and caused me to throw the book out of the window, all because I spent hours looking for him, but to no avail. And I found him, no more than 10 minutes ago. Bitch, how's that for closure?
Been (playing the keyboard) and confused for so long it ain't truuuuuueeee........I can have my random Zeppelin moments too. Learned a few cool tricky things. Hopefully I can get really good at them by tonight, because if I can begin using them, they'll REALLY liven up my playing! I'm very relieved, because I've been looking for a new direction to take my improv in. I am satisfied again, for now.
Writing WASL is finished now, thank god. I cannot believe it...I wrote my heart out with this prompt, and afterwards Megan said she heard it was the "fake one." Why? It was the best out of the 3 by far! On the bright side, we get our Wednesdays back, bitch!
I'm getting sick again. My throat hurts so bad that it is literally unbearable. I wish I could not go tomorrow, but I have plans over the weekend. If I miss school tomorrow, those plans are no more.
I am not having a party, and my reasons behind this are pretty obvious. I would like to see everyone, however. Talk to me about that!
I really do not understand. I have tried my hardest to stay out of this matter entirely, for my benefit and the benefit of others. But now, as much as I am going to regret this, something has been brought to my attention that cannot be ignored.
We have been friends as long as I have known you. For all I know, I have been genuinely kind to you and have offered my support, and you have done exactly the same. As such, I'm sure you can imagine my surprise to hear you have been talking about me in such a wantonly hateful and degrading manner. I cannot even begin to understand what I could have done to trigger this.
I could take the easy way out by assuming the worst and treating you as an enemy, but to be honest, that is not what I want. And I hope that is not what you want, either. We have been friends for over 2 years now. It couldn't possibly end like this, because I do not hate you, or wish any harm upon you. But these recent events have upset me too much, and I cannot simply ignore this matter.
So tell me, what have I ever done to you to deserve this kind of treatment? This is not a rhetorical question. I hope I can get an answer from you. The way I see it, until I can get a goddamn explanation at the very least, I have no business talking with you.
Stupid buttheads at Roland tech support, telling me I can't alter the velocity on my keyboard...I just found out how to do it! They st00pid. I'm buying Korgs from now on >:]
I am freaking right the fuck out. To the point where I cannot get anything done. And I don't fucking know what the problem is, or how to approach it. -I have 3 make-up labs and 2 make-up quizzes to do in Bio, as well as at least 50 book questions. She wants them by friday. -I have an essay in Dean due tomorrow, that I haven't been able to even start until today. You need to cite Proquest articles, and I have no idea how to get on Proquest from home. -She won't accept any late essays. And if I don't get it in, she won't grade any other makeup work I've submitted. -I feel biologically unable to sit still for more than 2 seconds, in any given situation. -This, of course, has caused me to lose sleep. -I've been compulsively overeating to the point where I'll just cram whatever shit I can find in my mouth. It's gotten to the point where thinking about it even in the least bit disgusts me. -Apparently at our performance, I broke Charles' keyboard somehow, even though I never even took that fucking thing off its stand. I'm probably gonna have to pay through my ass to get it fixed. -This whole 'seclusion' thing is driving me insane. During my time of need, when I need my friends the most, my parents try to sever the connection completely. -I've been steadily losing confidence in my ability to have a future, my ability to play the keyboard, and possibly worst of all, my ability to be a good and reliable friend. -Above all that, the one possible deciding factor in whether or not I get this paper done, our 2 hour late start, has been taken away from me, because my parents thought that would have been a perfect time to have a parent-teacher-student confrence with ms dean.
I feel like I've been driven clinically insane by all this. I can't even think straight anymore. I'm really panicking!!! I'm just in one of those moods where I wanna say "FUCK THE WORLD," go curl up on the couch and watch movies. But, I can't watch movies, because I have to write this paper. Hell, I can't even curl up, I can't stop fucking moving around. I can say "FUCK THE WORLD," but that won't really help my current situation.
Am I the only one who can go 2 weeks without bitching someone out and getting into a huge-ass argument? It's getting rediculous. I really hate being the middleman =/
"Storming Through the Burning Fields"- DragonForce
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What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
You have a Purple Lightsaber.Purple is associated with wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic. Purple denotes high spirituality and religious aspiration. Purple also represents Peacefulness and Purification. It also has a sense of intuitive understanding and a feeling of intimacy with the world. Take this quiz!
I really need to do something with someone soon. If anyone is free for the remainder of this week, let me know.
I'll be in Yakima for 5 days, effective Sunday. If I could borrow someone's cd player, that would be grand.
Backalley has finished the tracks for the Anally Aborted Fetus/Festercyst/Anally Fucked With a Cheesegrater/Piss-filled Anal Enema/Gurgle Vomit 8-way split. A rather lackluster effort on our part, but It's done, nonetheless.
Backalley Abortion/N.U.R.S.E./Skat Injector 3-way split coming up this summer. We'll have totally new shit on this one, at least 10 times crazier than our old stuff. It'll be like 5 dollars. Please tell me if you are interested.
So my quantum leashes came in the mail just recently, and wow...I must say that I am amazed! I never thought they could be so cool. The only major issue I have with them is that they're much heavier than my old ones, and much harder to swing around...but once I get used to it, it should be fine. I would post pictures for you, but, alas, I do not know how...well, enjoy the rest of your weekend! My arms hurt...
But I am ordering new ones tomorrow, as well as a pair of kickass leashes! Check out what you can do with them(NOTE: I do not know how to add links, so just copy/paste...I'm sure you can manage)
A lot has happened since I last updated...I guess I have already fallen behind on my resolution to update this thing more often.
Over the past few weeks, I fell deathly ill, and was forced to miss school for two weeks. Now I have two major projects to finish, not to mention the tidal wave of make-up homework. Not the best position to be in for someone who's still recuperating. But I seem to be managing it all pretty well.
I got my Streetlights a little while ago, and I haven't been able to put them down. They are truly amazing. I can't wait 'til I get new colors. Yes Kathleen, Pretty shineyyyyZZZZ!!!!!!!!!
Friday afternoon was pretty bitchin'. I got to hang out with Russell, Hannah, Olivia, Beck and a few other random people that I will never see again after this year, on account of them going to Skyline. We fucked around in the park, made an ass out of Russell, had a Hannah buffet, and I tried to teach some people how to use my streetlights. Oh, and Beck dropped trou, as he always does. Of course I had to go home early, because my mother was under the impression that I didn't tell her what I was doing, even though I reminded her every single day for the past five days up to that point.
Saturday did not turn out how I wanted it to, and I ended up getting stuck watching my sister all night. On the bright side, I walked down to Soundsations and picked up the Anthrax anthology, as well as Opeth's "Morningrise" album, both of which turned out to be incredible. I'll write a full review of Morningrise later on.
Holy crap, the Morningrise CD is so soft!!! Yes, the CD itself!!!! WOW!!! When I took it out of its case, I spent five minutes contemplating whether I should listen to it, or have sex with it. For the record, I chose to listen to it...
I'm sad that it's Sunday...today after youth group, I had the oppritunity to hang out with Steven/Kyle/Nadine/Morgan down at Kent Station. It was good fun, for the two hours it lasted. Nadine hugged me a bit too forcefully, and now I think my neck is broken...
On a different note, I had a revelation a couple weeks ago. I woke up one morning and realized that I was young, broke, and was in desperate need of money. So I decided I needed to join the work force. I just turned in a job application form for Safeway. Wish me luck.
Proper spelling and grammar ist kvlt(VITO!!!!!!!!)
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unholyorathania's journal
condescending
relieved
